Before, I even had kids or even knew Devin I always knew I only wanted to have two kids. I always pictured having a boy and girl, just like my mom. Of course that wasn’t the case and we are blessed with two perfect beautiful girls. When Devin and I did meet and got engaged and the topic of kids came up, we were in agreement we both wanted two kids (Devin’s mom also had a boy and a girl). Even after having both our girls, and not getting our boy this is why we are only having two kids:
Even though at times I miss being pregnant, rare and fleeting moments. I was not one of those people who necessarily enjoyed being pregnant. I loved my bump and feeling the babies move, but other than that, pregnancy was not my friend. I had horrible morning sickness that lasted way past the first trimester and still got bouts of it till the very end of my pregnancy. I had a horrible metallic taste, where absolutely nothing tasted good. This too lasted the whole entire pregnancy. Towards the end, I was so miserable, constantly thinking I was going into early labor. I feel horrible for my poor cousin, who I texted every night asking if she experienced the weird symptom I had that night. My first pregnancy I swelled the size of a balloon before and after delivery, my legs were literal tree stumps. I’m honestly blanking on about a billion different symptoms I had, not sure if it was because there were too many to count or I am trying to block them out! Lastly, not to sound completely vain because it honestly doesn’t matter, but, pregnancy wrecked my body. I did not bounce back. So much extra fat, skin, and my stomach looks like a tiger with the amount of stretch marks I got.
For us two kids is perfect. We live in a three bedroom house, perfect for us and our two girls. We have a small SUV, again perfect for our TWO children. Adding a third child would be a huge financial ongoing. We would have to buy a new house, we could fit three kids in our bedrooms, because the girls could share a room. But the living space is way too small for three kids. There is no way we could comfortably fit three kids in our car, so we would have to purchase either a van or a third-row SUV, which is not cheap. I think Devin would die from stress having more medical bills from a third c-section. Just all that alone would cost us around $200,000 that we don’t have. Not to mention, just the living costs of a third child would be too much for us.
My Mental Stability
I already have days I feel like I am losing it with two kids. After about four straight days of constant screaming, I found out that Charley has a dairy intolerance, but the days before finding that out could drive any sane person insane. Feeling so completely helpless while your child screams for six hours straight, all while your other child is dumping out bath water, purposely trying to trip you while you are trying to soothe your screaming child, or finding 50 toys in a broken diaper genie after your child pinched her finger trying to put more in it. I already feel completely outnumbered some days, so adding another one just doesn’t seem like a smart idea to me. I know my limits and if I want to be a good mother, two is my limit.
I will miss going through milestones after Charley hits them. I’ll miss the newborn stage, the first time they crawl, the first steps, the silly toddler moments. Heck, I’ll even miss pumping. A small part of me will be sad I never had a boy. But, both Devin and I feel our puzzle is complete UNLESS I can talk Devin into getting a dog. But I feel like that’s about the same percentage of having a third child.